Today's show - 09.03.10   THE SHLOG    BECOME A FAN OF 96ROCK (CINCINNATI) ON FACEBOOK RIGHT HERE!! DROP US AN EMAIL (themorningshow@purerock96.com)   or  TWEET US ON THE TWITTER (GambleandFin96)   Best links and stories of the week: Links and other oddities that we'll try to update every day (and by 'we' I mean 'me'...Fin)    Time to playyyyyyy - Tennis Star or Porn Star? - it's a good 'ol audio game and harder than you may think Need some tips on how to 69? - No, this isn't some sort of double entendre, it's about what you think it's about Conan names his new show - or does he? Vote for Rico and Co. in the World's Largest Chicken Dance online contest - click here and keep voting Not a U.S. Open tennis fan? - You will be..... High school football in Ohio is WAY better than wherever this dummy plays - we think it's Delaware Oh Holly Weber - thanks for making Monday bearable Weiland hits 'the pit' last night at PNC - sadly, not on purpose....hey, it made TMZ so somebody got paid..... Why don't we ever pull up next to THIS chick? - Oh, wait, we just saw the mugshot....yipe! Jackyl at the Ky State Fair and the state trooper - yes, a little Crown Royal had been consumed The Miller Lite Cat Fight commercial - the WHOLE commercial - you may not have seen THIS version (just getting geared up for a new season with our Miller Lite Girls, Yes-Hello!!) Gamble at last week's first 96ROCK 'Fraturday' party - we think Wanna shoot some hoops? - probably not with these guys unless you've got titanium balls Thinking about hitting the highway at 110 MPH? - Think again The Linkin Park 'Catalyst' remix by a fan has been chosen - check this out to watch them run thru the entries and get a taste of the winner's submission....kinda cool to see them at work Serious golf ain't over - here's a cool golf game that Tiger Woods ALSO did not win - Thanks to 96ROCKHEAD Chris for this one. Is your house haunted? Have you had a paranormal experience you'd like to share, or have investigated? - Click to find out how to be part of a 2 hour seminar / casting call with the Surviving A Haunting crew on September 9th from 7-9p at the Reagan Lodge at Voice of America Park Hey RICO! - ever been caught doing THIS? - ever done it, just not gotten caught? Sturgis last week (Thursday, August 12th) - Jesse 'The Human Cannonball' Dupree takes Full Throttle Flight between 'She Loves My Cock' and 'The Lumberjack'.....HOLY!!!! He truly is the hardest working and highest flying man in show bidness..... Sturgis - um, 2007 - now THAT's a chainsaw - more madness from Sturgis 2K10 coming as soon as I can get the photos off my phone and vids out of my flip....wow. Happy Gilmore meets Padraig Harrington - or vice versa - does Happy's technique off the tee really work? see the science fo the swing for yourself..... Southern California Truck Race tragedy - here's the 'post accident' video - do you really want to see the actual video? Somebody out there has it.  If we can find it, we'll post it and you can look at it if you like. Mom is that you - she's a BIG fan You're Acting Like a Bunch of Bitches - you be the judge  Lady Guy Guy stage dives - yay....if this video is the biggest story to come out of GaGapalooza then Lollapalooza is offcially O-V-E-R (at least as far as being cool) Will you 'Do the Ellen' dance with Forest the Human Puppet - here's the lowdown and we'll hope to see you at our last Party in the Park on Wednesday, August 18th with Forest and the Menus Rape is not funny - this guy, however.....IS Rape is not funny PT 2 - this guy, autotuned, IS even funnier Drunk guy vs. pole - who wins? Hate the term - LOVE THE PHOTOS - yes, helloooooooooo Check out these dance moves - and his big finish (stay with it) Are you a boob man? - What if they were housed in one of these 25 strange, yet cool, bras? Iran is cool... - oh, no, wait, it's not Iran is not cool - part 2 Kurt Bush and Elliot Sadler twist it up at Pocono - HOLY! Sadler looks like he's lucky to be alive - his car, notsomuch Will Oxyclean take care of this? - not likely Dad Life - yo - this is classic Maximize your weekend by checking out these Minis - skirts, that is....yes, hello Mr Skin - our good buddy and all of his 'hard' work can be found here. Enjoy Who says you can't be pregnant AND beautiful AND classy? - um....these chicks - gawd, almighty! Rick Pitino has really let himself go - dontchya think? Why do they call them wisdom teeth? - check out THIS wisdom Comic Con is for nerds - AND for chicks who, apparently, have used some of their Archie Comics money for boob jobs Michael Jackson's not dead - he was last spotted at the Walmarts Is this one of the funniest commercials ever? - you decide Kings of Leon is the SHIT! - according to these pigeons - would you have canceled? This is NOT video from our first 96ROCK / Muscle Milk 'Take It Off' Pool Party - but we wish it had been.....pretty sure you know what's gonna happen but you'll still watch, won't you? These ARE photos from the aforementioned party - thanks Amy and Muscle Milk The Love Festival did not go ...'so good'...for quite a few people in Germany over the weekend - some of these photos are graphic, so we know you'll look We love weddings - or at least wedding guests. This guy's video message will make you want to puke Here's Kuzin Vinny doing your daughter - er, uh, your daughter's wedding in a couple of years.... TV reporter really gets into his work - or should we say 'on' to his work. What a douche Parachuting Donkey? - Actually it's a para-SAILING donkey... Crazy Ruskies....see the video Putin doesn't want you to see.... Hey, LOOK? - it's Playboy for guys who don't like naked chicks.  Will this make it? Take a look and then cast your vote over there >>>>> Not since Jeff Gordon signed on with DuPont has a guy been so excited about one of these - stick with it...and try to figure out when he actually 'achieves' Here it is AGAIN but this time set to music - and auto tuned.....outSTANDING!!!! Danica and Erin on the red carpet at the ESPYs - yes, there's a red carpet at the ESPYs... Willy Wonka, Al Queda leader? - You decide Old Spice Guy is back - and as funny as ever - see below for more Need a wedding photographer? - This guy's probably free that day How long did THIS take - WOW - stop motion craziness A quick history of mullets - 'It's NOT a mullet!!!' .....Fin Hey Rico?! - Got any of these outfits on hand? Yes, helllllooooooo? (Val does, doesn't she?) - Thanks to 96ROCKHEAD Chris for this one....aye carumba! Mel Gibson - in 'Lethal Weapon: My Temper' - his final perfomance? From Mel's train wreck to a wicked CAR wreck - a BRUTAL first person look at  a major tire blowout... Apparently 'loser.com' was taken - if you use this service, PLEASE call or email us to let us know how it went....PLEEEEEASE.... OK, THIS is dumb - so's THIS - and THIS ... 96ROCKHEADS Derek Cox, Adam bulach, Scott bulach, Andrew bulach, Spark bulach, Jake bulach, Tommy, Brooks, Jason Lewis, Taylor, Zach aka " big dumb" pulled off this Carmaggeddon and it may have earned them the Perfect 10 tickets to Sick Puppies tonight at Bogarts Vote-o Joey Votto into the All Star Game - right on.... Larry King's going to retire? - here's the proof he's about 20 years too late OK, so THAT didn't get it for you. soccer haters? - If you think soccer players are less then athletes or men take a quick look at some of THEIR wives and GFs....yes, hello Parking your JetSki 101 - ya' gotta love the compassion shown by the videographers How to buy a TV - seems like common sense but anymore you've got to have a Phd. Tired of ballpark beer prices? - Let your 'natural assets' assist you Why we don't lift weights - got sick of this happening This poor kid's doomed - nice work, dad Drunk girls kissing - Thanks Mr. Skin - for everything Remember Vida Guerra's booty? - how about covered in paint? NASCAR fans and Mulleteers REJOICE! - your (our) time has come.....again EPIC FAILS - self explanatory Trash talking midget - really? you need any further reason to click on it? Tara Reid - WTF happened......GROSSS!!!! Mr Skin - he's the patron saint of this show and our Bill Gates Gamble wants to know: 'Do they make these in a 38'? - Thanks to 96ROCKHEAD Annemarie for the link and thanks to Madd Minion for the header - this is FANTASTIC and whichever ad agency came up with this should be crowned 'KING' Booooo!!! - Liar!!! - if you don't already know, you need to check it out - A CLASSIC!!!!! Looking for a drum teacher for your kid? - This guy charges by the level of 'awesomeness' you'd like Rednecks - is there anything they can't make better with fire? (btw, don't do this) Most of those crazy fur protesters drive us crazy - these.......do not Why we have shunned bullfighting as an alternate career - well, ONE of the reasons How about a great hand job - or two or three or....... Did you see this chick at (insert festival name here) - We're pretty sure you have Would you consider this an omen - we would How did you cope with YOUR divorce? - Forget the therapist - try this. GREATEST  SERIES OF TV ADS EVER - and you never actually see the product Hey Cincy news anchors - you paying attention?! - THIS is the way news should be delivered - fair and unbalanced Classic MU sorority girls party photos - how many times do you think someone said something like: 'wooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooo'.....? Where's Iris when we need her to slap some sense into some people? Remember (staining your sheets to) Winnie from The Wonder Years? - time for round two, Ralph Now THIS is a prank - yes, hello.....too funny!! Finally!!! - a worthwhile use for 3D technology Your dog sucks - unless it can do this Need some dance moves for the weekend? - No charge, Ralph....knock 'em dead Old man dancing - that's it....just an old man dancing....really...just him...he's old...and he's dancing The Shoe-dini - oh Gilbert Gottfried..... As Seen on TV - the tribute to 'doing it wrong' Pole Dancing Championships - a nice compilation Stripper pole fail - er, um 'fails' The future of publishing? - Not good....or is it....worth a couple of minutes of your time...stick with it Ever been hounded to get Zoobooks? Not like this, we'd bet Hey Smarty Pants - Think you're smart? Take this smart test, Smarty McSmarterson. Smart. Waterboarding - is it for me? Decide for yourself      The Gamble Glossary (He's our Malapropmaster): feel free to use as needed   Emanciated = he meant 'very skinny, sickly looking' but it turns out that this means a 'free, yet wrinkly face'.....created week of 11/30/09 Equivilate = 'going to make a comparison between two things' - created 12/09/09 Slack = apparently the singular of 'slacks' - thrown out for consumption on 01/11/10 Sworded = getting stabbed with a sword - 2/23/10 Samarella = apparently some sort of thing one might be afflicted with should certain ingredients be found faulty - many of us know it as salmonella - launched 3/09/10 Absorbitant = a ridiculous amount of money sucked out of you for something that's ultimately useless like, say, sex therapy - rantified 3/31/10 Godsmith - apparently a band that somewhat resembles GodSMACK - created week of 5/10/10 and we let is slide - but then he did it AGAIN on 5/17/10 so here it is.... Want-To-Goers - ROCKHEADS who, apparently, want to go to things like concerts.  Unveiled on 7/13/10 in reference to those who may be interested in attending Mayhemfest at Riverbend Authenticicated - We think he meant 'authenticated' because he was talking about Pete Rose's wood, eh, bat at auction   Gamble n Fin Hall of Fame links -   George Brett has got to go - best ever...check out this very candid video - he's pooped - [CAUTION - Rated R] EPIC FAILS - self explanatory Hiillbilly Toothpick - the perfect gift for the person who  has nothing Finally, some truth in advertising - Moblie home buyer beware Booooo!!! - Liar!!! - if you don't already know, you need to check it out A little holiday gift from Gamble n Fin - it's really something, ain't it? Here's another one in case the one above didn't quite disturb you enough - you're welcome Kicked in the 'bulls' lately? - how about THIS from our friends in Adelita's Way -OWWWW!!!! - Thanks for THIS, Rico Barry Gibb on a Rollercoaster - God bless you Seth McFarlane Can't ANYONE spell ANYTHING anymore? - THIS should help (thanks to 96ROCKHEAD Jim for this) Waterboarding - is it for me? Decide for yourself Got a Snuggie? Wanna get some while you're in it? - It's the long awaited Snuggie Sutra Brian Hamrick from News 5 gets out to in the snow with some safety tips - this is a neo-CLASSIC!!! Well done, man and kudos to Channel 5 for posting it     LOOKING TO LEND A HAND TO OUR MILITARY AND THEIR FAMILIES? (Got one for us to list here? SUBMIT IT TO US TO POST RIGHT HERE)   The Thank You Foundation - Show your support for our veterans, service members and their families by letting your license plate do the talking Operation Homefront - Helping soldiers by helping the families they leave behind Adopt a Soldier - Send something as simple as a letter or a care package Adopt a Platoon - One soldier not enough for ya? Here ya go. Send a card to a recovering soldier at Walter Reed here:  c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center 6900 Georgia Ave NW Washington, D.C. 20307-5001   GnF show sponsors:    Jones Bar-B-Que and Foot Massage